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God of War: Chains of Olympus

I have been part of an ongoing debate about the PSP for a while now. One side says that the system is unable to create high budget, impressive games. The other says that the system is capable, but developers are just lazy and aren't taking the PSP seriously. Chains of Olympus settles this debate. It plays nearly identically to it's predecessor and doesn't cut any corners. This game would have been right at home on the PS2 without any changes.

This game takes place before the original God of War, but follows a part of Kratos's adventures that is previously unmentioned. It fits right into the overall story arc because the original game implied that he had been serving the gods for a while but doesn't mention in what way. It plays nearly identically to it's PS2 counterpart, with the only exception of the missing second analog stick (damn you, PSP). This joystick handled all of the dodge-rolls on the PS2 and the solution for this system works well. Holding both shoulder buttons and using the joystick does the same thing. It is a little awkward at first for long time veterans of the series, but will soon become second nature. The magic abilities are handled the same. Holding the right shoulder button activates the magic and pressing the proper face button for the desired spell casts it. I would have liked if there was an onscreen reminder of which button was which spell like in the other games of the series. There were several occasion where I had to guess and cast every spell before I found the one I wanted. Just like past games, you collect red orbs to level up you abilities. Unlike past games, with a minimum of effort, you will have all your abilities maxed before the end. Some people may like this, but I was a little disappointed. I also felt that the swimming and rock climbing moved a little slower than it needed to. Each time I had to do these maneuvers, the action slowed down dramatically. The combat system is starting to show it's age a bit. I used the square, square, triangle combo almost non-stop through the entire game. There was never really any reason to use other moves, other than to see how cool they look. Other games have implemented combo systems that encourage players to switch up moves, so it is disappointing to see God of War so firmly planted in the past.


Other than the above mentioned problems, the game is completely amazing. The locations change often enough to keep things fresh. The checkpoints through the level are often enough that I never had to replay any large sections because of dying. Enemies fight smart and seem to do a good job of creating a challenge (although on four different occasions, I came across an enemy that just stood still and never moved even after I attacked them). The story digs deeper into Kratos's past. It give you a better picture of what happened with his family and why he is so dedicated to the gods even though he clearly despises them. I would even go as far as to say that the plot is better than the original GoW, although the game ends rather abruptly and clocks in at just over five hours of gameplay (though higher difficulties and unlockable bonuses extend the replay value). The main foe of the game, the god Morpheus, never even makes an appearance, which I thought was quite strange. His actions are just mentioned in cutscenes. I found it hard to put the game down; always saying, "One more checkpoint." Speaking of checkpoints, they are placed conveniently before any tough battle and are common enough that you will never have to replay large sections. The only one that bother me was the one before the final battle. It was before the cutscene leading up to t and you are not allowed to skip it. Message for developers: I don't care how cool your cutscenes are, NEVER make it impossible for us to skip them. They will always get old if we have to watch them every time we die. In a game like this, it wouldn't be unreasonable to have to fight that battle more than twenty times on the hardest difficulty. Having to watch this scene every single time drove me to almost not want to finish the game.

The game's presentation shows that it has really pushed the system further than any other game (other than possibly Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow, which is the only other game on the system that I truly loved). The soundtrack is fit for a movie and follows the action well. The CG cutscenes, which are rare on the system, look amazing and really add to the atmosphere. The graphics are detailed and crisp. The in-game camera work is exactly what you would expect. It always gives you the best view of the action and will pull out to show off the scenery during certain sequences. The only time I had a problem with the camera was during the final boss fight. They had a tendency to fly in front of the camera and block the entire view.

After playing God of War, I wanted to write a letter to each and every developer for the PSP and tell them to quit being lazy. The system is fully capable of epic storylines and intense gameplay. I am tired of the remakes and half-assed games made for quick paychecks. The system deserves better. It deserves more games like this one.

GAMEFURY Game Rating: 8.5

Devil May Cry 4

The fact that the phrase 'devil may cry' makes no sense is quite fitting since most of this game doesn't either. The story leads you along a path of random events that are rarely explained and almost never make sense. I found it very difficult to be drawn into the experience when I couldn't figure out why anything was happening. The action can be fun, but didn't save this game from being only mediocre. This is the first game in the series that I have played and wouldn't be too disappointed if it is also my last.

The game plays much like any other in it's genre. Many of the same ideas are seen in God of War or Conan. The same green floating orbs give you health, blue for magic, and red for upgrades. There are quite a few new moves and combos that can be unlocked, but many of them never quite felt right. Several of the button combinations were so awkward that I just stuck with many of the basic attacks. The awkwardness of the controls extended to the boss battles as well. Most of these fights had me wondering if I was actually fighting them correctly or just getting lucky. Each fight against normal enemies was fun, but over way too quickly. It seemed like just as I was getting into the flow of the battle, the stream of enemies would stop. This is also another game that contains the over-used mechanic of magically sealed doors that disappear once a certain amount of enemies are killed. There is quite a bit of unnecessary backtracking as well. Many areas begin with a locked door nearby and you are sent off to find a way to open it. Once you unlock it (usually after 15-20 minutes of play) you then have to make your way back through the empty level and to the original door. Some of the level layouts are somewhat confusing and it is easy to get lost on your way back, especially if you have to quit and come back after a couple of days. If you do enjoy the game, there is a good deal of replay value. You can go back to replay levels to earn more points to buy abilities. There are also secret areas that cannot be entered until you come across an ability much later in the game, giving you reason to go back to past missions.

Many gamers were disappointed to find out that Dante isn't the main character of this game (although he becomes playable later), but I thought it was a cool idea to have a newcomer. Much like Metal Gear Solid 2, being able to watch the hero of past games from a new person's perspective made him seem that much cooler. Unfortunately, Dante doesn't make nearly as many appearances here as Solid Snake did in his game. The new guy is a cocky smartass, but still likable. The only strange thing about him is his treatment of his mysterious demon arm. Sometimes he is ashamed of it; so much so that he kept it hidden in a sling in the beginning of the game. Other times, he seems quite proud of the power it gives him. I guess the argument could be made that he is torn about how to feel, but it just seems odd that he would want to hide it immediately after using it to great success in dispatching a group of enemies.


The plot progression is so random that the entire story is a jumbled mess. It was never a problem figuring out what was going on, but only trying to understand why it was happening. The game begins with your character, Nero, trying to get to church. On the way, he is attacked by demons for no explained reason. Upon reaching the church, he acts as if nothing happened. Then, after he arrives, the preacher is murdered in front of everyone. I couldn't help but think that the entire situation could be avoided if Nero had just told someone what had just happened outside to him. After the assassin escapes, it is decided that your character has to chase after him. Although the assassin never gives a hint as to where he was going, you are sent to a castle. Upon searching the castle, you don't find the assassin, but you locate a secret research facility headed up by none other than the man who sent you there. So let me put some perspective on this. I was sent to a location by my commanding officer after someone who wasn't there, and had no reason to be, only to find a facility that my commanding officer didn't want me to find. The rest of the game contains situations like this. After completing one mission, you character says that he should report back to headquarters. If you try to go back, the path is blocked and you move on to a new area because it is the only way to go, not because you need to go further. The castle scene takes place on a cloudy night. Upon completing the castle, you run up a short cave and emerge in full daylight. Upon defeating one particular boss, the human boss turns into a wasp like creature during a camera switch. There was no explanation of this and it even took me a second to realize it was supposed to be the same character. Even when these random events are explained, it isn't until much later in the game and by that point I couldn't make myself care about the story anymore.

Graphically, this game is last gen through and through (with improved resolution). The environments are impressive and definitely set the mood, but everything else is somewhat disappointing. People's hair is in clumps so that each individual strand doesn't have to be animated. Your character's feet glide slightly with each step. They also slide up stairs and move as if on ramps instead of steps. The game looks very similar to Metal Gear Solid 3, but that game did a better job with most of these problems even though it was a PS2 game. Most object transitions (such as someone picking something up or one person passing something to another) don't happen on screen. They are hidden by clever camera work using tricks that never really fooled me when they were first used years ago. There are a few points where a person is stabbed in the chest with a sword. The sword floats around in their chest and show that it is not actually stuck in the person but the two are only occupying the same area. When the swords are removed, there is no mark on the character or in their clothes. One of these character's spits up blood after being stabbed, but the blood appears just slightly outside of his mouth. All this happens during cutscenes, so you can imagine how many graphical glitches are in the main gameplay. Your sword travels through walls without making a mark or sound. Some objects are destructible, but most are not and there is no easy way to tell which would be which. The end of the PS2 and Xbox era looked better than this.

The game can be fun, but the inability to move the series into next gen is incredibly disappointing. Fans of the DMC will still love this game (but those are the same people that aren't going to care what I have to say anyway). Everyone else can have a much better time with God of War 2 or Conan. If the next game in the series is rebuilt from the ground up instead of simply tweaking the last game's engine, it could have a shot at being an awesome game. I thought we had moved beyond the last gen-and-a-half games but I guess not.

GAMEFURY rating: 5.5

WoW cheating is bad for you (go figure)

I started playing World of Warcraft again a couple of months ago and just hit level 70 last week. The day after I made 70, my account was hacked and stolen. My level 70 character was transferred to another server and was then apparently used for gold farming. This happened on Friday night and since it was a holiday weekend (does anyone really even celebrate President's Day), Blizzard was closed until Tuesday. When I finally got a hold of someone to fix my account, they were able to reset my password and move my character back. When I tried to log into the account with my new password, it was immediately reset again without me wanting to. When I tried using the new password, my account was locked. Three times I had Blizzard fix the account only to have it locked on me again. The only solution I was able to come up with was to start a new account (which meant I had to buy the game and expansion again) and pay to transfer my character. I wasn't willing to pay to transfer all my characters, so I lost three guys in the process. Sixty five dollars later and one week without being able to play, I was able to get into the game again.

I couldn't for the life of me figure out how anyone was able to get into my account, when I remembered something that happened over a year ago. I was starting to get burned out on the game and was falling behind my roommate in levels. He offered to pay to have me power-leveled to catch up with him. I am totally against any kind of cheating like this, but since I was going to quit if I wasn't able to play with him, I gave in. A couple of days and and fifteen levels later, I was ready to play again. I changed my password and went on like nothing happened.

I figured the password change would be good enough, but then I realized that when they had my account name and password, they had access to my entire account, which included any security questions or precautions on it. Apparently they had been keeping tabs on me and were waiting until I made level 70. The benefit of being leveled up a while back was completely wasted by the week I was without an access to the game. Ironically, the day after I got everything straightened out, Blizzard posted this statement. Before, I would have laughed it off, but now I completely agree with them.

The companies that supply these services have no moral problem with taking your money and then screwing you over in the future. Not only this, but just having these options available is completely unfair to the players that earned their gold or levels the right way. Whether or not you agree with this is totally irrelevant. Everyone that plays has accepted the license agreement (Just because you skipped over it doesn't mean you didn't accept it) and has no choice but to abide by it. If Blizzard says that we are all required to play the game naked using only our feet, we have to deal with it as long as we accept that agreement. Power leveling and gold purchasing can only be bad for players in the long run.

Stranglehold

Anyone who has wanted to be in a John Woo action movie now can have that chance. Now you too can take part in completely unrealistic action sequences, take a thousand bullets and come away with a couple of cuts and scratches, and have doves appear out of nowhere and fly around you in slow motion during the most intense scenes. Alright, so I have a few issues with Woo's movies, but the premise is perfect for a video game.

This is one of the more action packed and intense shooters in recent memory. The gameplay itself isn't entirely original. You can carry two different types of weapons at a time and they are the standard fare. Most levels start you with a pistol but you can find shotguns, machine guns, and assault rifles. The game is very similar to Max Payne or Enter the Matrix. You can slow time for a set duration. The slow motion refills at a decent rate, so it is almost always available. Defeating enemies builds up special moves that are unlocked throughout the game. The first is a simple, but very useful, healing ability. The second brings the game to a near standstill and allows you the chance to fine tune a single shot. When you hit the trigger, the camera chases the bullet to the enemy and is followed by their death sequence in slow motion. The third is a kind of rampage mode where you have unlimited ammo and health for a short time. The final is used to kill every enemy in the room in a very cinematic sequence. This last ability is also where the magically appearing doves make their entrance. I know John Woo loves his doves, but their random appearances are strange. Charging up these abilities is done fairly quickly, so you don't have to worry about saving them for major battles and can use them liberally. There are many objects in the environment that you can interact with in order to perform cool moves from; anything from rolling along pushcarts, sliding down banisters, swinging on hanging lamps, all while shooting enemies. Unfortunately, these moves sometimes aren't easy to pull off and you will find that it is more effective to simply run and gun in a more straight forward manner. To add a little variety, there are shootout sequences. You will occasionally come across a room with a couple of guys who already have their guns aimed at you. In a ridiculously dramatic cinematic, your character will point his gun at each of them. Then, you will take aim at each individually with the left joystick while dodging their bullets with the right. They are cool sequences, but I was always left wondering what the last guy in the room was doing while I was systematically killing all of his friends. Instead of standing there and waiting his turn, he could have easily shot me in the back at any time.

As far as enemies go, the game took the approach of throwing hundreds at you instead of making them smart. There are several sequences where a group of guys will run up a staircase in a line and allow you to mow them down. Most enemies will stand in one place and shoot at you without trying to take cover or even move out of your line of fire. The challenge of the game comes from the shear number of enemies. There are actually too many guys for my tastes. There are so many that one or two (or even five) kills don't really give you any sense of accomplishment. It is also hard to worry about your character when you know that he is fully capable of walking into a room with forty enemies and walking out unscathed. The game also makes you wonder if one guy can take out so many criminals, how is it that crime still even exists in Hong Kong? There is really no sense of dread because you are such a badass. I did die from time to time, but I couldn't believe it actually happened when it did. The boss battles are a bit on the lame side. They aren't any different than a regular enemy. They just have the best weapons and take a hundred bullets to take down.


The story is generic in every possible way. You are the renegade cop that always goes against your boss. The game completely telegraphs every scene that is found in every boring action movie. First, you disobey orders and go to the scene of the first level. Shortly after, you turn in your badge but continue your mission. Then you are betrayed by a fellow cop that I saw coming from the moment he entered the game. Close to the end is the death of a friend that is used to make the finale more emotional. Everything was so unoriginal that I never cared what was going on.

The game looks great, but considering that the game was made using the Unreal engine, the graphics are a little disappointing. Next to Gears of War (which also used the Unreal engine) and Unreal itself, it just doesn't compare. There are virtually no shadows in the game, which is really the only problem with the graphics, but just this one exclusion makes the whole game look unrealistic. It also doesn't have the gritty look of Gears so the locations almost seem too clean. The environments themselves are wonderfully destructible. Most everything will begin to crumble when under enough gunfire. The hit locations on enemies are also impressive. While most games are content to simply allow players to execute head shots, this game separates it further by allowing enemies to be hit in the throat, mouth, either eye, and the forehead. There are also many individual locations on the rest of the body that can be hit. This may not be very noticeable in normal play, but the bullet-following special ability mentioned above showcases these hits beautifully. There are also very few clipping problems. Enemies fall and land on objects realistically. From a technical standpoint, the game is quite an achievement. If Gears of War hadn't come first, this game would have seemed even more impressive.

At its heart, this is a great action game. The story is a complete afterthought and the action can get repetitive. Even with this, it is a fun and frantic game that succeeds at being a well put together shooter. As long as you don't go in expecting a movie quality script (since this is supposed to be the sequel to Woo's 1992 film, Hard Boiled) the game will supply you with some mindless fun.

GAMEFURY Game Rating: 7.5

Burnout: Paradise

EA continues their streak of shoveling out crap and major game reviewers continue their streak of not seeming to notice. If you get a chance, check out Game Informer's review. They didn't say a single good thing about the game but gave it an 8.5 and 'game of the month' honors. I firmly agree with everything their reviewer said and have no clue where they got the final rating from. There is not one aspect about this game that isn't done much better in countless other arcade racers (including previous entries in the series).

New to the series is the open world environment. Every event takes place in a fairly small city and races are started at most intersections. The setup is much like Test Drive: Unlimited but has far less options. There is no way to move quickly around the city; you must drive everywhere. This is fine in the beginning, but later in the game it feels like a complete waste of time. There is also no way to see where the races are without being at their exact location. For example, if there is one particular race type you enjoy, there is no way to find out where all the events like it are. You must simply wander the city until you spot one. This game lacks most of the basic features that are commonplace in nearly every other open world racer.

The races play out like any typical arcade racer. When you are behind, your opponents drive like beginners. When you take over the lead, they race like gods. I realize that this is done to make the game more action packed, but it is dumb that the best way to win a race is to hang back out of first place and boost past them on the final stretch. The cars control well enough, but the hand brake is totally unpredictable and useless. This is especially disappointing because arcade racers usually rely on the handbrake to pull of sharp corners. The boost system that the series is known for is completely ruined in this game. In past Burnout games, boost was built up by driving in oncoming traffic lanes, near misses, causing your opponents to crash, and other similar actions. This added a new aspect to the races where you were forced to create action packed sequences in order to keep the boost meter full. In this game, it is still done the same way but the boost is much easier to get. Mildly agressive driving will keep your boost gauge maxed for just about the whole race, making the above mentioned actions pointless to attempt. Also, every race is open at the beginning of the game. There is absolutely nothing new to see or do (other than unlock cars) that isn't available right from the start. This game is guilty of the one thing that I absolutely hate when a racing games does; if you don't finish first, you completely fail the race. To make matters worse, there is no option to restart an event (like you can do in any other racing game). If you know you are going to lose, you can quit the race but then must drive back to the starting line if you want to try again. This would have been a minor addition that could have greatly improved the overall flow of the game.

In a monumentally moronic decision, EA decided to remove the crash mode that was the favored aspect of the series by many players. It was replaced with the ability to start a crash at any time by pressing the top two shoulder buttons. The problem is that you have far too much control over your car while it is rolling through the air and with a minimum of effort, the crash can be extended almost indefinitely. The action is always viewed from the normal racing view, so you don't get a good look at the aftermath of your wreck. There is also no option to view a replay of the accident, like in past versions of the series. Add to that the fact that there is basically no reward or point to these crashes and this gameplay aspect quickly looses it appeal.


The only part of the game I enjoyed was the Takedown mode. In these races, you goal is to force a set number of other racers to crash while they try to do the same to you. There really is no challenge to these events because I regularly got more than four times the number of takedowns than the event required, but it is still a blast to play. I really liked this mode until I remembered when I played the version of Burnout on the PSP that came out over a year ago. This version of the game had the same exact Takedown mode but with more variety in the ways you can make your opposition wreck. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the old PSP version of the game is far superior to this version. EA strikes again.

Most arcade racers make up for their lack of depth by having more bells and whistles, like car customization. Not so here. There are absolutely zero options to customize or upgrade your car. You do have the option to unlock a second version of every car, but many times the new version isn't even as good as the old one. Every car comes with one decal set and that can't be changed or even removed. There are even a couple of cars that are covered with rust and have taillights out. No amount of repairs or paint jobs will fix them. You can paint your car different colors, but the procedure for this is fairly stupid. You must drive through the paint shop and a color is randomly chosen for you. If you don't like the color, you must turn around and drive through again and again until you get the color you want. Since the color is random, it could take a while to find the one you want. I have even managed to get the same color multiple times in a row. Back at your garage, you can choose among the colors that have already been applied to your car, but there is no way to unlock all the available colors without driving through the paint shop over and over with every car you own. Each car has a performance rating in only three categories and none of them is handling. The cars handle very differently and the only way to know is to drive every one. With 75 cars in the game, it is impossible to remember how every car drives. There is absolutely no reason why they couldn't have put a fourth category for handling the way nearly every single other racing game in the history of the world has.

The graphics are fairly good. When crashing, the cars crumple far more realistically than I have seen in other games. During a wreck, the game goes into slow motion and the mayhem can truly be enjoyed. Unfortunately, the game doesn't wait until the car comes to a rest to reset the action. The more spectacular accidents will be cut off right in the middle, far sooner than in past games of the series. In takedown mode, your opponent's wrecks are even shorter, so you can't really enjoy causing them to crash. There are also no drivers in the cars. I'm sure this probably had something to do with the ESRB rating (although it is EA, so they may have just been too lazy to put them in) but it is very disappointing to so plainly see driver-less cars all over the place.

This title is another example of EA removing features and releasing half a game for full price on a yearly basis. All this game made me want to do was dig up a copy of the last Need for Speed: Underground or Midnight Club. If you want some trademark Burnout action, save yourself some money and buy an older version of the series. Don't waste your time with this.

Overlord

This is one of those rare titles that tries to blend several different genres and actually does a pretty good job of pulling it off. There are equal amounts of action, role playing, strategy and even a touch of puzzle solving in the game and all are done well. It is weak in some areas because of this broad aim, but the package as a whole is quite entertaining.

While the basic gameplay isn't really anything new, the execution is unique. In the beginning, you are resurrected as an evil overlord who commands an army of minions. At first, you can only control five at a time, but this number can be increased to twenty five throughout the game. The gameplay is viewed from an over-the-shoulder third person perspective, but can be switched to an isometric, Diablo-style view. There are many situations where neither of these views really lets you see the action the way you want, but the camera is passable. The controls for your character are the basic fare; move around with the left joystick, press the attack repeatedly to chain together strikes, one button jumps and another locks on to a target. There are also four basic magic spells that can be unlocked through the game that keep things interesting. None of this really makes the game stand out and if this were all there was, it would have been incredibly boring. The real fun comes in when you begin ordering your minions around. The right joystick controls your minions as a group in what is best described as a sweeping motion. They sweep across the level in which ever direction you send them and interact with anything they come across. If a sword is on the ground, one minion will stop to pick it up while the others continue on. Once he equips the weapon, he will rush to catch up to the rest of the group. If an enemy is in their path, the minions will stop to attack them and continue on once the foe is dead. Many items can only be carried by a group of minions and several doors take minions working together to open. There is a countless number of things for your minions to interact with and it is quite entertaining to simply stand back and watch them destroy the environment. My personal favorite was after being sent into a pumpkin patch, they destroy every pumpkin while laughing gleefully. Upon returning to you, you will find that several of them crafted jack-o-lanterns and are now wearing them as helmets. Since the action is always viewed from your character's perspective, it can be difficult to see exactly where your minions are when they get too far away, and many puzzles force you to do this. The game can cater to different play styles. If you like, you can send your minions in to do all the work while you stand back and watch. This will cost you more minions in battle, but will keep you safe. If you are more of the get-your-hands-dirty type, you can lead the charge into battle and less minions will die. This will, naturally, put you in harms way and you must sacrifice minions at altars to get your health back.

While you are definitely and evil overlord, you get to actually choose how evil. You can help the starving towns people in exchange for them praising you, or steal the food for yourself to feed to your minions. Choices like this are throughout the game, allowing you to be a well liked ruler or the feared dictator. The good news is that your minions will always love you either way.


There are four types of minions available in the game. You begin with only one type; the Browns. They are the strongest fighters but aren't good for much else. In a straight forward dungeon, a group of these guys are your best choice. During the more puzzle oriented sections, they will be of little use. They are the only ones that can equip most of the weapons and armour that is scattered around the levels (which is all done automatically). The Reds are much weaker fighters but have a ranged fireball attack that comes in handy quite often. They also can put out fires to open up blocked paths. The Greens can poison enemies. While they are also weaker than the Browns in fights, if you manage to get them behind the opponent, they can be devastating. They have the ability to absorb poison clouds that block your path, similar to the way the Reds clear fire. The final minion group is the Blues. They are just about useless in a fight, but have the ability to resurrect fallen minions. While all other minions will drown in any water more than waist deep, Blues can swim and reach places other minions can't. Every minion type has very clear purposes and you will constantly be switching around between each depending on the situation.

More minions are recruited by gathering orbs from dead enemies. The type of enemy determines which minion. Poison beetles supply greens. Succubus give you Reds. Giant frogs give Blues. Sheep supply Browns (yes, I said sheep). There are many more enemies in the game; these are only examples. While the number of available minions increases with these orbs, you cannot add them to your army until you find portals scattered around each level. Some areas have a portal for every minion, while others only give you a chance to bring one or two different types into a level. If you run out of minions, you can return to any previously visited area to kill more enemies (who respawn once you leave the level).

The bosses can range from challenging to downright frustrating. One of the first ones required me to corner the boss by ordering Reds to hold position on both sides of him and throw fire while I used Browns to protect them from other enemies. This was a difficult battle, but was also fun and gave me quite a sense of accomplishment once I won. Shortly after this battle, there was another that was on the opposite end of the spectrum. The boss was next to a wheel that I had to order my minions to turn in order to open a door that would allow me to fight the enemy up close. Since the boss was so close to the wheel, half my minions would think they were supposed to attack him and would almost instantly get killed. Also, in order for your minions to retreat, you have to hold down a specific button for a couple of seconds. While waiting during these seconds, many minions will get killed (this is also a problem in many other battles since there is no other way to quickly order a retreat). During this fight, I went through way too many minions than was necessary simply because of the control scheme. There are also several bosses that can only be defeated by trail and error. If you are defeated by a boss or run out of minions, you have to teleport back to your tower and replay the level from the last checkpoint, which was almost never right before the boss. I hoped that in this day and age, we had moved beyond games forcing us to replay easy parts over and over just to make it back to the difficult battles.


Your stronghold is not only the base of operations and save point; it also contains many activities that make the game more entertaining. You will find gold while exploring dungeons that will be piled up in your treasure room. Though it is fun to watch this pile grow, the gold can also be used for other purposes. You can buy cosmetic improvements to both the exterior of your castle and the throne room. I wish there were more options available for purchase since it didn't take long for me to have bought everything that I could for the castle. The gold can also be spent in the forge. Here you can make new weapons and armor. While the initial item is purchased with your gold, any upgrades are added by sacrificing minions. Many weapons can take over a thousand minions (which can be added over time) to become truly amazing weapons. Other materials are found throughout the game, so you don't have access to the best stuff right away. The arena allows you to battle any enemy that you have come across up to that point in the game. You can use this to gather orbs if you don't want to wander levels that you have already completed, but don't think you can just fight easy guys over and over to increase your army quickly. If you pick a weak enemy, a large number will be in the arena and the battle will always be challenging. There are other areas to go in the stronghold, but they are really just there to check out the scenery.

The graphics look very good. The entire game keeps up the tongue-in-cheek humor that it is based around. All the environments are believable but still maintain the cartoony feel of the game. Every level was impressive to look at and each area has something new to see. Some of the levels are fairly maze-like and the lack of any kind of map feature is puzzling. There were quite a few times when I was wandering aimlessly because I couldn't remember how to get to my destination. The minions are always performing hilarious actions. Anything from getting drunk and peeing on the ground to laughing maniacally while destroying a field of sunflowers for no particular reason. While it certainly isn't a game for children, the violence isn't bad at all. When being sacrificed at altars, you minion cheerfully jumps into it and disappears in a puff of smoke. The main focus of the game was definitely comedy. The first area is a complete copy of Hobbiton from Lord of the Rings, except the Halflings are the bad guys and must be killed. Shortly after that, you come across the elves who are solemn and depressing, which opens them up to constant ridicule from you smart ass minions. The game can almost be considered a parody of the entire fantasy genre, be it in either games or movies.

The game is definitely a unique experience. Since it contains aspect from many different genres, there were many times that I wished they had done more with each. Many of the boss battles hurt the game due to their execution. The game is far from perfect, but it is a very entertaining fantasy romp that contains tons of humor and puzzles that will keep you wanting to see what will happen next.